


Orpheus

by t0talcha0s



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aggressive symbolism, Bro IDK it's like 3 am., Dirk POV, Dirk addresses his friends for forgiveness, Drabble, M/M, Written too poetically, it's all metaphorical poetic bs, wounds mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0talcha0s/pseuds/t0talcha0s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have four to face. Four rulers, four for which you live and from whom you require, not their kindness, but their wrath. </p>
<p>You have surrounded yourself by people too good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orpheus

For to your past you will cast no backwards glances. All you have done, every sin you are guilty to commit, it was all for them. You may receive no thanks, you may instead receive the harsh lash of their words, or the lethal stab of their silence. They may hold you close in tenderness, or beat you down with rage, you might be given their forgiveness, or you might be given the eternal punishment of their leave. Regardless of their fury, and love, and hate towards your actions, towards you. You shall never be regretful, for you have done it all for them. 

You have kneeled flayed open in front of her. She was the hardest to face. She is your queen, your god, and she holds your worthless life in her palms. White hair glistens when she shakes her head. Her laugh resounds empty and hollow through you. Her pink eyes dull and full of hatred and sorrow and fear. What have you done to her? She tells you to rise and you comply, you would complete anything she commands of you. Had she asked you to take your sword, inscribed for her, dimidium animae meae, and run yourself through, you could not disobey. 

"Dirk," her voice struck you as stones. "You are forgiven, always and completely forgiven." And she steps down her pedestal, coming to stand beside those unworthy, and marring her godly skin with contact to yours. She cradles your face, looks into your eyes and anoints you with a brush of her lips to your forehead. "Oh Dirk," her voice thick with sadness. "You've done nothing worth your guilt." And though her words lift you of your burdens, they remain. Though she has commanded you whole you remain splintered. All you can gasp to her is 'I'm sorry.' 

-

Facing him is a blow to the pride you were always sure to uphold around him. He looks upon you with a smile and an eyebrow raised. You bow your head to him, breath released in a hiss. You hold your wrists to his mercy. You have scarred him, asked so much of him, manipulated him, it is only fair he do the same. You desire his rage, punishment gives you what you know you deserve. You cannot face their kindness. 

"Strider?" His voice indicates that it's a question, your closed eyes not seeing his raised eyebrow. "What are you doing." Beautiful, oblivious fool be he. He still finds you blameless. You found him pure and kind and you did what you have been forever doomed to do. You destroyed. He stands in front of you with unseen wounds from where your claws worked into him, your impurity, your plague riddling his words. "Dirk, my boy." You deserve not to be his, you deserve not the pleasure of love. He beckons you foreword, and you slowly ascend to him. He takes your wrists, kisses them clean, implanting in your blood stream so fluid with hate, the solid fact of his adoration. With those dirtied lips he tells you, "you need not feel that way. For I am thankful of my love for you." You tremble as he holds you close. 

-

You don't even dare look at her, how could you. You wish her tie you to a stake and burn you alive. Blue eyes flame vibrant as the day you first saw them. Her brow beset with the thorns of what you know plagues her. She laughs, full of life, of understanding. She asks you to come to her as she descends, seated halfway down her throne. You sit beside her and she takes your hands.

"My dearest, wondrous, cherished Dirk." She begins, and each word a stab to you. You be Caesar betrayed by the kindness of your own beloved friend. "I shall forgive you your trespasses." She be a goddess to acknowledge them. You should find it easy to pray to her. "And I shall expect you do the same for me." 

"Oh Jane what trespasses possess you?" Her hand smooths its way through your hair. 

"Guilt is not a novelty only you contain." Her word is final, you squeeze her hand. She is forever relieved of whatever guilt she think she hold. You will carry any burden she hefts. "I require your forgiveness." You nod, you nod for eternity. Of course you forgive her. Of course. 

-

He seems so pleased to have you as you are. He sits haughty in the face of your surrender. He addresses you coldly, little care given to you. He allows you not to request forgiveness. 

"You believe I'd respond as they did." Never a question with him, only ever a statement. He tells you who you truly be. His scoff a weight lifted on your shoulder. As they had moved, as they had had you move, he remains stationary, beckons you not. "You're a fool." Yes. "You deserve not forgiveness. Kindness be not reserved for you of all." Your eyes fall closed, though his presence demands attention, basking in his words. He tears into you with his vicious, razor tongue, like you knew he would, like you need. He reflects to you everything you know be true. You could cry. It feels so joyous to have someone finally address you so. This is what you deserve. "I despise you." 

"Thank you." Comes your voice, cracked, pitiful, debauched. He hums coldly, your eyes open to see him wave you away. "I love you." No less pathetic. 

"You're pitiful." You are. "You're disgusting, you are a worthless tool of destruction who's purpose has been served." Your eyes fall closed again, and you nod. 

"I love you." It comes out as a choked gasp. 

"Be rid of my gaze." You deserve him not, and but, yet, you are his, he is yours, and he gives you everything you could need. 

"I love you." One last time, a chant, a mantra. 

"I hate you." You smile as you leave. Smugness, confirmation, the words you have needed to hear finally in your head. Justification. 

To your past you shall cast no backwards glances. Your future you leave to them. Their forgiveness bruises like stones, their hatred the confirmation you require.

**Author's Note:**

> The most important symbol in this piece is the direction they come to address Dirk. (Roxy comes down to him, Jane meets him halfway, Jake requires he come to him, and Hal has them remain their distance). So that's the thing to think about. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr at Barefootcosplayer if that's something you're into. 
> 
> Thanks for reading ^_^!


End file.
